Drive Angry 3D a title that belongs more in a DVD rental shop than the big screen. The first movie filmed entirely in 3D – but why did they bother? No one actually drives angrily throughout the film. It also consists of one of the worst sound tracks I’ve ever heard.
I can’t believe Nicholas Cage who gave us; The Rock, Con Air, Kick Ass, and even Ghost Rider allowed himself to be associated with this one. The premise behind the film isn’t that bad, Cage’s character Milton, a play on the author of ‘Paradise Lost’, escapes from hell to rescue his granddaughter from an evil satanic cult. Billy Burke is the cult’s satanic leader Jonah King, and I had to admire the character. Despite having his dick bitten off early on in the film he is a man who is not afraid to wear tight trousers.
If you are expecting fancy driving or great cars you will be disappointed, the first 45 minute is a sleaze festival across Central America. It is made up of lots of mindless violence, naked women, shooting people while having sex. Even Milton’s female companion, a diner waitress, Piper (Amber Heard) looks beautiful but would fit in well on the Jerry Springer show. However, it lacks the humour to pull it off. Every hero knows the importance of a really good line while you finish someone off.
The Accountant (William Fichtner), whose suited and booted cool adds a good supernatural quality to the film and steals every scene he’s in. The director Patrick Lussier packed his movie with a tasteless set and 3D effects involve propelling sharp objects directly at the audience. But even though I drive a Renault Megane, I have watched enough Top Gear to know that a ’69 Charger could out run a RV. And really what self respecting satanic cult leader kidnaps people in a RV?
I’m afraid Drive Angry 3D failed to get over forty miles an hour.
Drive Angry 3D is out in cinemas now.